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Latham to lead Midnight Oil

Ending speculation about his political future, Australian Opposition Leader 
Mark Latham has announced he will lead Midnight Oil in its comeback concert 
for tsunami victims at the Sydney Cricket Ground this month. The Opposition 
Leader’s appointment as the frontman of one of Australia’s most outspoken 
and environmentally conscious rock groups is understood to be part of a 
“leader-exchange” program.

“We promised Peter Garrett leadership of the Australian Labor Party and in 
return, Mr Latham would headline the Oils on any future “Best Of” or charity 
tours,” an unnamed ALP official confirmed.

Mr Latham — pictured practising Garrett-esque dance moves — says he is 
making the switch due to the recent recurrence of his pancreatitis. He 
believes the rock-and-roll lifestyle should prove less stressful and less of 
a health risk than sitting in Parliament and sneering at John Howard and 
Tony Abbott.

But already critics have questioned Mr Latham’s leadership skills after he 
indicated that the Oils would play Surf’s up Tonight, Underwater and Drop in 
the Ocean during the first 15 minutes of the tsunami charity concert.

Mr Latham informed the Daily Ripper that the reason he had not made a 
statement regarding the tsunami disaster over Christmas was that he hoped 
his music would speak louder than words.

“Just like Elton John after the Princess Diana disaster, I have ‘reworked’ 
an Oils classic to tell the plight of the people of Phuket,” Mr Latham said.

Mr Latham hopes his rendition of Beds are Soggy will allow people to see — 
through music — the problems facing the disaster victims and encourage 
Australians to dig deep.

“Sometimes it’s hard to believe what goes on in this crazy world but with 
the media coverage of the tsunami, seeing is believing,” he said.

Mr Latham has promised that his new position will not change the man behind 
the music.

“Hell, I’m still a Labor politician and the only time I’m gonna be 
interested in green issues is at election time or when I blow my nose,” he 
said.

The Opposition Leader is not turning his back on politics, planning to 
remain on the backbench in the new Garrett-led Opposition.

“At the moment I have the best of both worlds, with music and politics both 
important parts of my life,” Mr Latham said.

When questioned on Mr Garrett’s imminent appointment as Opposition Leader, 
Mr Latham answered: “Well, I don’t wanna be the one, and Peter has a lot of 
power and passion for this lucky country.

“After the last election defeat I just thought, ‘Well, you wouldn’t read 
about it’. That bastard Howard, with assistance from US forces and terrorism 
threats, managed to be returned to office. My family and I tried to put on 
brave faces but I knew somebody’s trying to tell me something,” Mr Latham 
said.

“The Australian people as a collective clearly have a short memory. I guess 
that when events change in the outside world and these last few years are 
forgotten years, then maybe I’ll quit the Oils and move back to the Labor 
Party full-time.”

Midnight Oil drummer Rob Hirst has declared that he has the support of the 
Oils caucus and will challenge for leadership of the band.

“Jim Moginie and Martin Rotsey are behind my challenge and Bones Hillman 
will do whatever the hell he’s told cause he’s just a bass player,” Hirst 
said.

Only time will tell whether Mr Latham will be able to hold power as Midnight 
Oil’s king of the mountain.

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